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Relative Dimensions: Revenge of the Cybermen by Iain Mackenzie


The title for this story didn't bother me so much as a kid when I first saw it, but as an adult its something I just can't quite get past. The best way to explain why is to first take a look at a line from the second appearance of the Cybermen, The Moonbase. The point of this line is to highlight the simple fact that Cybermen are perfectly logical beings. They are not motivated by emotions, such as a desire for revenge like the title implies. Unfortunately this would be thrown out in their very next appearance Earthshock, where the Cybermen openly state that a number of actions are revenge motivated, making it one of many instances within that story where they display emotion.

I'm getting away from my main gripe: As imagined - and indeed as best utilised - the Cybermen are a dark reflection of humanity and an illustration on why a philosophy based entirely on logic is neither desirable nor good. They feel no remorse, no guilt, no compassion and no regrets. They are every bit as much a warning as they are antagonists, which makes them excellent science fiction villains. And yet, as a general rule of thum it is very reasonable to tell if a televised story with the Cybermen as the main villains is any good by first asking the question "Is Patrick Troughton playing The Doctor," because the two questions tend to have the same sets of answers.

The beginning is promising enough. It starts out with a very Cybermanish strategy. Weaken the infrastructure from the shadows, and only when they cannot mount a defense move in to take control. In this instance they use a (redesigned) Cybermat to spread a "plague" until too few crewmembers are left to do much more than be taken prisoner when the Cybermen arrive, hands on hips and all! Seriously, why do they keep walking around with their hands on their hips like that? Completely destroys the image of "total machine creatures".

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Relative Dimensions: Genesis of the Daleks by Iain Mackenzie


It's hard to imagine anyone coming into this review undecided on whether to like Genesis of the Daleks or not. It's hard to even imagine that anyone reading this would not have already seen it at some point. Genesis of the Daleks is one of those stories which always seems to come up in discussions about Doctor Who, and for very good reason. This is an important - nay essential - story that adds so much to the show's mythos, and further cemented Tom Baker's portrayal of The Doctor in the minds of, well, everybody that ever watched this story.

I suppose that gives away whether I recommend this story or not. I do. I heartily recommend Genesis of the Daleks. It is loved by a large portion of the fanbase for very good reason, after all. Of all of Terry Nation's Dalek stories this is by quite some way the strongest of the lot.

What's particularly amazing about all of this is that the Daleks themselves don't actually appear all that often throughout the story. The threat of them lingers in the air like a storm cloud ready to burst, but they're not the real antagonists of this affair. I'd even be hard pressed to claim that Davros was the antagonist, instead placing him merely as an antagonist. The most significant and most memorable, by quite some way, but he's not alone by any means. I would instead argue that the antagonist was really the war that resulted in the Daleks. On one side, the Thals. They are not quite so nice as their two other appearances on the show, not by any measure. In this story they make use of slave labour and force them to take toxic radioactive materials into a rocket that they will fire at the Kaled city, thus ensuring a lingering and painful death for anyone they capture: Hardly angels by any means. Contrasting that is the Kaleds. Anyone that doesn't see the Nazi symbolism all over the Kaleds is simply willfully ignoring it or outright blind. The very first encounter that The Doctor and Harry have with the Kaleds is designed to invoke that very kind of memory with their black uniforms, stiff salutes, manner of speech, the manner in which they refer to the enemy, body language is all highly evocative of your typical Nazi stereotype.

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Relative Dimensions: The Sontaran Experiment by Iain Mackenzie


It has been quite the while since we last had a two part Doctor Who serial, going back to The Rescue ten years prior to this week's review. The next one after this would follow seven years later, Black Orchid. Looking over all the 25 minute two parters in the classic series I think it is safe to say that the best of them was probably Inside the Spaceship/Edge of Destruction provided that by "best" I meant "most entertaining". The Sontaran Experiment is a direct continuation from the conclusion of Ark in Space whereby our regulars transmat down to Earth to try and fix some faulty equipment. On arrival they discover a group of humans that are being kidnapped and tormented by a Sontaran that is conducting experiments upon them. It's kind of a sad thing that a summaration of the plot to even this degree spoils the cliffhanger, but given the title it's not entirely a surprise anyway. At this point I would like to discuss the story and the characters, but I'm finding it very difficult to do so for a very simple reason. There isn't much of a story here to talk about at all. While I believe that many of the modern day television stories are a little quick in their pace, they at least manage to deliver something that qualifies as a full story in the same sort of timeframe. We get introduced to characters, their quirks and foibles, get a chance to care for them before horrible things either happen to them or threaten to. We don't get that in The Sontaran Experiment. The non-regulars don't have particularly distinct characteristics or personality traits and I doubt that this time next week I'd even remember any of their names. The sole exception is as you may expect the Sontaran scientist conducting the sadistic experiments that the title refers to. Which leads to my next point. The Sontarans do not come off all that well in this story as compared to The Time Warrior. Lynx came across as a seasoned veteran, battle hardened, ready to fight any time, but smart enough to resolve problems without having to resort to brute force. While the costume may not have been all that impressive as compared to the modern costume it did make him look like he'd been in more than a few fights in his time. Styre, on the other hand... I hate to borrow from the lexicon of Internet memes, but Styre looks derpy. Worse yet is his reason for doing the experiments in the first place: The Sontaran battle fleet will not invade until they have a scientific report on the physical and psychological limitations of human beings, and Styre is making that very report. This does not strike me as entirely in line with the way Sontarans usually operate. I mean, it does make sense to try to discover facts about the enemy before engaging in full on combat, but the way this is presented makes them seem almost afraid to get into a fight unless they're sure they can win. Given the way that Lynx behaved in The Time Warrior, that really doesn't fit in my head at all. There is another problem, though. The experiment itself is being conducted on a group of six humans and each of them is a caucasian adult male. This sample is far too small and far too unvaried to be of any use whatsoever to the Sontaran's stated purpose. Not only that but there are no controls in place for any of the experiments that we see! How does this constitute an even remotely useful experiment? How is this data going to be used by the Sontarans in any remotely beneficial capacity? The answer is, it can't be. Not the way that it's shown onscreen. I think a more interesting direction for this story would've been to go in an entirely different direction. Let's say the Sontarans are trying out new battle tactics, or a new weapon. Humans happen to be the best species available for such tests, so the Sontarans have captured and cloned a large and diverse group of people to perform experiments upon. Into this situation stumble our protagonists, and events unfold from there. The story could be an allegory intended to make us think of the way lab rats get treated, or any other commentary on scientific experimentation that a writer may wish to make. Instead what we get is a story which says nothing, does less and may as well not exist at all. Even someone trying to follow the Nerva Beacon story arc of the season could easily miss this story and transition directly into the following one without missing a single beat.

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Relative Dimensions: The Ark in Space by Iain Mackenzie


I have to admit to some small confusion over the title of this story, given that there already has been a story titled "The Ark" in Doctor Who history and it was also set in space. So why does this one get "in space" while the other does not? A quibbling point, but it is something I like to poke a little fun at now and again whenever the opportunity arises. Please, do not begrudge me a harmless, petty amusement such as this. The Ark In Space continues where Robot left off, with the new Doctor taking Sarah Jane Smith and Harry Sullivan for a trip in the TARDIS. The three of them arrive aboard a seemingly abandoned space station of the future, only to realise that it is in fact anything but. The humans that inhabit this station are merely in hibernation as part of a project to ensure humanity survives a disaster due to strike the Earth, with the intention that they wake up when the planet is habitable again and set about repopulating the planet. But something has gone rather badly wrong, and the humans have had their alarm clocks malfunction. They've overslept quite badly, but that's the least of their worries. There are intruders aboard the Ark other than the TARDIS crew, and their intentions are far less benevolant. One of my main complaints about Robot is that it was really a Jon Pertwee story in disguise, largely thanks to the presence of UNIT. No such concerns with THe Ark in Space. This is the first "real" Fourth Doctor story in that it is the first serial that actually feels like one. The early portion of Tom Baker's time with the show is known largely for its emphasis on horror and that is something that we definitely get here.

The costumes and the sets are rather laughably bad at times, but it ultimately matters very little because the performances do a rather brilliant job of masking these limitations. Rather than focusing on the fact that his arm is just wrapped up in several layers of green painted bubble wrap, most people would be drawn in by Kenton Moore's performance as he tries in vain to resist the alien influence slowly taking over his body. His appearance multiple times throughout the story serve as a constant grim reminder of what fate awaits the sleeping humans if the alien menace is not stopped, and each time he does appear after his "infection" he becomes less and less human. Well, up until his final appearance when he becomes more human than he's ever been...

So the monster this week is terrifying. What of the regulars? Well, take everything I said about Tom Baker last week, and imagine him topping himself. I don't know how he did it, but he does. Completely, manic, witty, charming and alien. The Ark in Space even gives him a rather well known piece of dialogue that helps us understand just how much The Doctor has changed in his time since encountering two teachers in a junkyard so very long ago.

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Relative Dimensions: Robot by Iain Mackenzie


Ah, Tom Baker. His image is the very first thing most people would think of when asked to visualise The Doctor. The look is iconic, beloved, cherished and utterly Bohemian. Why wouldn't it be? It's distinct, it's memorable, it oozes personality even before he says a line. Robot is the very first Fourth Doctor story, and to be perfectly honest I think that's a bit of a shame. Our new Doctor very rapidly asserts himself and establishes his personality quite rapidly. If there's one thing that Tom Baker does quite brilliantly - and believe me when I say there's far more than just one thing he does quite brilliantly - it's make you believe he's portraying someone that isn't quite human. He's witty, charming and alien to a degree that the previous Doctors didn't quite match. This is not, I must stress, intended as an insult to their performances but praise of Tom Baker's. In his first of many, many adventures as The Doctor he is by quite some considerable margin the most entertaining thing in it. See how he frustrates The Brigadier, who has to adapt to the idea of meeting a new Doctor for the second time now. Watch him have a little fun with new companion Harry Sullivan, tying him up with skipping rope in an effort to avoid a medical checkup. Hear him banter, see him try on various silly costumes (like a clown) before picking his iconic look and fall in love with the character. How can there be any question that he is the best thing in this story? The unfortunate answer is that there really isn't any question. Robot's story is rather weak, and quite honestly doesn't suit The Fourth Doctor even remotely. It feels much more along the lines of a Third Doctor adventure, where for some reason The Doctor is in disguise and is behaving rather erratically the entire time. The only thing that makes it memorable in a good sense is that it is the very first Fourth Doctor story. There's nothing else here that makes it stand out with fond memories. Let's start with the plot. A series of mysterious breakins have been occuring, and it is quickly apparent that the culprit is stealing the parts for an experimental disintegration gun that Earth will never use in any capacity in future stories to combat alien invaders. Given the security measures implemented to prevent exactly this sort of thing happening (the thefts, I mean. There are no security measures in place regarding the prevention of using a powerful weapon against powerful enemies), UNIT are rather puzzled by what could possibly be strong enough to circumvent those measures. If you want to know the answer, the clue is in the title. Yes, a robot is stealing the parts for the disintegration gun. It's being utilised in particular by a group of science extremists that believe the world would be better run by them, a feat which required circumventing the robot's programming. Yes, this story does touch upon Asimov's Laws of Robotics. But it does so in a sort of clumsy manner that isn't nearly as thought provoking as even the weakest of Asimov's musings on the subject. Worse yet I simply do not buy these antagonists. They do not feel or behave like real people, which is not a slight on their performances but more directed towards the way they are written. I may have criticised Invasion of the Dinosaurs, but it did a much better job with its antagonists than this story did! Speaking of Invasion of the Dinosaurs! One of the major complaints people have regarding that story is the special effects. Well, guess what! This story is just as bad, if not outright worse. I would swear up and down that the last episode was made with the deliberate intention of being riffed for its terrible special effects but for the fact that MST3K wouldn't happen for another decade and a half after Robot aired. Two special effects in particular stand out. The first is this bit with the toy tank. The other is a rather badly botched series of CSO as the robot's size is remarkably inconsistent from shot to shot. These are rather common and unoriginal complaints, but that makes them no less true or impossible to avoid noticing. This is not to say that this is a bad story. The problem is, it's just about average. Watch it for the introduction to The Fourth Doctor, it won't make you suffer too much. Definitely watch with some friends if you want to have a laugh because there are several things to make fun of. Otherwise, I'd suggest skipping Robot and going right into next week's adventure.

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Relative Dimensions: The Eight Truths/World Wide Web by Iain Mackenzie


Those that have followed Big Finish are all too familiar with the way that they tend to bring back old antagonists and do something really special with them. There is a very real feeling in each instance of this that they understand the characters they are writing, understand the medium they are writing for, and know exactly what to do in making their stories and concepts come to life. Within the Eighth Doctor adventures featuring Lucy Miller, this was especially true. But don't take that to mean that they couldn't create a new and brilliant Doctor Who antagonist. Far from it, in fact. But that is not the topic of today's review, far from it in fact. This is one of those times where they found an underused villain of tremendous importance to the show, and did something quite good with it. It's certainly an improvement over their one and only televised appearance as well. Having said that, the best place to begin with this story would be an analysis of Lucie Miller. A companion of The Eighth Doctor, Lucie is a young 21st century girl from the north of England that was placed in his care by the Time Lords for reasons that become apparent at the end of the first season she features in. This story is the finale of the third. At first The Docor was reluctant to look after Lucie, seeing her as an annoyance foisted upon him by the Time Lords. That opinion softened rather a great deal over time, resulting in the two of them becoming quite the team. A great friendship and trust formed between the two of them, and Lucie was always a tremendous help to him whenever he had to save the day. This fact makes the fourth season rather a tragic one in so many ways, but there is something of an echo of things to come with this week's tale. One thing that struck me about this story is its examination of the cult mentality. Even those that are fully aware of indoctrination techniques can easily fall prey to them, when they are executed by someone practised and charming enough to administer them effectively. While there was certainly a psychic push given by the recruiter, but the impression I get is that this merely enhances the effectiveness of some already quite powerful indoctrination techniques. Thus, Lucie's innate trust of The Doctor is turned against her, as are The Doctor's usual methods of saving the world. Through these methods, Lucie is transformed from companion to antagonist, and this is only part of the long term plans of the villains. But what makes their strategy even more potent, even more effective in the long run is a rather carefully orchestrated illusion on a grand scale. The first stage was to have some seemingly ludicrous predictions of seemingly impossible events - then cause those events to occur by utilising highly advanced technology. Following this, stage a release of these prophecies by a skeptic that intends to bring the cult down. In essence, they use a very simple method: In order to tell people that something is not true, it is first necessary to explain what it is you are claiming isn't true which can often have the opposite of the intended effect, reinforcing the lie that is being debunked. Thus the skeptic must inadvertantly help the cult's efforts by telling people what it's all about, including the prophecies that are about to become true. It's a frighteningly cunning scheme that speaks to human psychology, and it is perfectly illustrated within this story's first half. The result is simple: More and more people join the cult, seeking the protection from a catastrophe that they have predicted, which in turn gives the Eight-Legs greater and greater control over humanity, until... Well, I think that's enough spoilers for this review.

And yes, the antagonist I mentioned in the first paragraph of the review is indeed the Eight-Legs. Their characteristics carry over extremely effectively. Their inherent arrogance, their duplicitous nature (even when dealing with one another), their sadistic streak, their careful planning... Even the voices sound so similar to the televised versions that I doubt anyone could tell the difference if recordings from both were played one after the other. That's something Big Finish tends to pay a lot of attention to - getting the sound effects and voices sounding right, even if they can't get access to the original people that portrayed the voices or made the sound effects. It all goes to show just how much they are fans of the show, and how much care they put into each of their releases; though I can only speak of their Doctor Who ranges.

For all the compliments I've given this story, I simply cannot recommend it. Instead I'll recommend the entire range that it is a part of. There are two major characters for that range in this story, for whom this is their final appearance. To gain an appreciation of who the Headhunter is, her significance to both The Doctor and Lucie Miller, combined with the manner in which she bows from the show and an emotionally crushing realisation about what we really know about her... Well, to be quite frank it is rather necessary to gain a little context to properly appreciate just how good this story really is. Almost the entirety of the New Eighth Doctor Adventures are very much worth the time of any Doctor Who fan that has time to spend. This is not the best story of the range, but it's a very thought provoking on nonetheless.

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Relative Dimensions: Planet of the Spiders by Iain Mackenzie


This is the story that ends the trilogy begun by The Green Death, just as it ends Jon Pertwee's run as The Doctor. It is a very strange story, and despite the fact that I don't enjoy it very much there exist rather a lot of complimentary things to talk about within it. If there was a theme to this story, then I would say that it is "redemption". Quite without question. Where The Green Death began with Mike Yates experiencing a traumatic hypnotic event, Invasion of the Dinosaurs followed with his betrayal of his friends and colleagues, and Planet of the Spiders sees him make his final appearance in the show trying to make ammends in the only way that he can. The arc described by these three stories adds more depth, complexity and personality to this character than all of his other appearances put together. It especially shows in this serial. The redemption that Mike Yates seeks is not in any way an attempt at manipulation, or an attempt to rejoin UNIT. Instead he is fully aware that there is nothing he can do to make them trust him again. For an organisation like UNIT trust is far too important a commodity to be ignored and almost impossible to regain once lost. He betrayed them. He is a liability. They cannot risk having him work for them again, in any capacity. No matter how the individual members of UNIT may feel about the matter or what he does to try and make it up to them, he has burned that bridge to ashes. He knows that. He understands that. He accepts this simple fact. And then he turns around and tries to help them anyway, by drawing attention to something he noticed that, in his former line of work, would definitely merit an investigation. Fully aware that they cannot trust him at all, he gets around this by contacting an old friend by the name of Sarah-Jane Smith, a journalist, and showing her firsthand what he has discovered so that she can report it on his behalf without bringing his name into the matter. Given this series of facts, one after another, the inescapable and obvious conclusion is that he is seeking a genuine and honest redemption, if only in his own eyes. But that is only half of the story. There is another who must make ammends for an action they took, a simple and seemingly harmless action performed during the first episode of The Green Death. The consequences are deadly, and led to a tremendously evil force gaining significant power. But he could not have known this. He could not have predicted that such a consequence would occur. After all, how could The Doctor have possibly known that taking that blue crystal from Metebelis III would lead a race of powerful psychic spiders to launch an assault on Earth? Well, that should go without saying. That would be a pretty insane thing to predict. But more to the point. In this story, The Doctor must face up to the consequence of his greatest vice: His insatiable curiosity. He must face up to his greatest fear: Inevitable and inescapable death, caused by his very own actions. The Doctor must redeem himself by making a tremendous sacrifice to defeat a powerful evil, and he must do so willingly. These are not the only characters in Planet of the Spiders, of course. There are two others that are also very much worth discussing. The first is Tommy, a kind hearted young man that takes a liking to Sarah-Jane. The only trouble is, he's - what would be the best way to put this? - a little bit on the slow side. Over the course of the story, we get to see his intelligence increased by accidental and alien means, transforming him from a man that can barely read into one that is quite witty and eager to learn. Contrasting him is the main ally to the spiders for the first half of the story (while having diminishing importance in the second half), the ruthless and bitter Lupton. He justifies his actions by stating that he seeks power as revenge for being fired from his job, which seems like a bit of an overreaction to me, but it does tell us a lot about Lupton's personality and how he contrasts to Tommy. Lupton has always been rather clever, but only sought further knowledge in the course of seeking power and revenge. In contrast, Tommy is given power quite without meaning to obtain it and only intends to use it to help others. Then there are the spiders Eight Legs themselves. They are an extremely arrogant bunch, but for good reason. Their psychic powers grant them numerous terrible abilities that make them among the more powerful non-Gods that The Doctor has ever faced. Mental control, teleportation, hallucinations, the ability to fire deadly energy at their targets. The mysterious K'Anpo and his assistant Cho Je are two other characters who do not seem particularly important to the plot at first, but come into their own in the later part of the story. That is by sheer coincidence when it all transforms into something truly amazing. At first we are led to think of them as just the people in charge of this Buddhist centre, people that Lupton and his friends are deceiving for the sake of obtaining power. But they are much more than that. Their importance to this regeneration of The Doctor cannot be overstated. The Planet of Spiders is a very odd story. The first episode does a decent enough job of setting things in motion and introducing key concepts and characters, but then the second episode makes the story grind to a screeching halt as Jon Pertwee is given a special gift of an extended chase sequence over multiple vehicles that lasts most of the episode. At one point the chasee and chaser switch the vehicle they are driving! And at the end of all of that, when the dust settles the villain that The Doctor was pursuing simply teleported away, leaving the inevitable question lingering in the frustrated viewer's mind "why didn't you do that fifteen minutes ago?!" To continue, the third through fifth episodes bounce between odd and a bit dull. Aside from how unusual they are there's not an awful lot of fun to be had here... But then the sixth episode comes around and things go through a significant transformation. Aside from an admittedly strange moment where they repeat scenes from the previous episode in a slightly different order, a greater portion of this episode is simply magnificent. From the second that The Doctor realises what he must do to the moment Pertwee's face becomes Bakers are simply amazing. The trouble is, you still need to sit through the other five episodes to get the context. Well, let's be fair. You can skip most of the second episode, from the moment that the chase begins. Other than that, the wait is entirely worth it. This is an essential part of Doctor Who cannon, and though I don't particularly like most of it I do still recommend seeing it. The climax is extremely emotionally engaging, and Jon Pertwee plays it just the way it ought to be played.

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Monster of Peladon by Iain Mackenzie


I normally make a recommendation on watchability at the end of the review as a summary point of what has been written before. In this case that is entirely unnecessary, as I can give a very succinct review in just this following sentence; Take Curse of Peladon, strip it of all its charm, and extend it by two episodes. It's been a while since I reviewed a story I truly dreaded watching again. Don't get me wrong, there have been plenty recently that I don't like watching all that much. Invasion of the Dinosaurs, The Green Death just to name the two most recent examples. However, in both cases I can easily see someone somewhere enjoying the story. In both cases I can say positive things about them even as I dislike the overall product. This makes these stories bearable, even if not as much fun as I might normally like. Thus, though there may be lack of anticipation I still found the prospect at least bearable. But there is no bearability this week. The last time I had to face this level of dread was The Space Pirates - which in an odd quirk of fate, was the penultimate tale of The Second Doctor much as Monster of Peladon was for The Third - and it will be a while before I must face it once again. Compared to this, next week shall be a breeze. I'm not entirely sure of where to go from there. How many times and in how many ways can I impart the message "this is a horrible waste of your time"? I mean, that's really all you ought to know. Then again, I know how the mind of the average Internet user works (you sick, sick freaks) and understand all too well that this recommendation may have the opposite of the intended effect and you may find yourself watching Monster of Peladon of your own free will (you sick, self hating freaks). So perhaps a little further analysis is required after all.

Monster of Peladon takes place fifty years following the events of Curse of Peladon, and not a lot has actually changed much for most of the people that live there. At least that's what we are informed since we did not see what the living standards were for the non-nobles on Peladon. Only now do we get to see them, and the common fashion on Peladon is shown, because words can do it ill justice. The Galactic Federation is embroiled in a war with Galaxy Five. No, not the same galaxy as the William Hartnell story. That was Galaxy Four but I can understand your mistake. Peladon is being mined to assist the war effort, and the Peladonian miners aren't too happy about it because they're not seeing any of the rewards that come with being allied with the Federation. The situation has resulted in a three way political conflict between the miners, the Peladon nobles and the Federation representatives on Peladon. Not helping matters is the appearance of the holy monster of Peladon, Aggeddor, who is killing miners and vanishing into thin air. The previous paragraph makes all this sound much more interesting than it actually is. In fact, I dare say that reviewing the previous paragraph would provide me with more emotional satisfaction and a higher sense of self worth than reviewing Monster of Peladon. Even so, let's soldier on. The current ruler of Peladon is the daughter of the king from Curse of Peladon. Her name is Thalira, and she's rather understandably fed up with the male dominated society she's supposed to be in charge of, but too timid to actually do anything about it. Enter Sarah Jane Smith, who has her sorted out in short order. I have now succinctly explained the two main themes of this story. While the subjects of labour and feminism are very worthwhile topics to think about, this story does neither topic any justice. The situation escalates to such a point that an old Doctor Who enemy is brought in to serve as enforcers. The Ice Warriors in their final appearance onscreen, and the fact that it's this story just makes me feel sad inside. However, I will give this story one small piece of credit. In writing this story, it has been realised that the Ice Warriors are not a monolithic entity with all members of the race thinking the same. Though that could be hard to tell given that the same costumes were used for each of the four Ice Warrior stories. My point is that though in Curse of Peladon they as a race renounced their violent ways and joined the Federation, there are apparently still groups that think this was a stupid idea and actively seek conflict. I agree with this notion. It makes sense to me that not all members of a given race would follow the same doctrine. It makes them feel a lot more realistic. It is my experience that there are two kinds of bad stories. The first kind is the sort of thing you'd see in any given Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode; The kind where it's so bad, you can't help but laugh. This is the other kind. Oh sure, you could make fun of it, you could get some friends together and give it a good riffing. Have a good laugh at the costumes not quite behaving themselves, or at the obvious stuntman in that one fight. But by the end it will have taken a small measure out of you, left you asking the same question posed by its far too appropriate production code; Triple Y. It's slow, it's monotonous, it pads for time, it's clumsily executed and it's... In a word, it's awkward to watch. I feel uncomfortable watching it, and I don't even know why. I do not recommend this story in the least little bit. Miss it, miss nothing.

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Relative Dimensions: Death to the Daleks by Iain Mackenzie


Death to the Daleks is an extremely oddly named serial, given that there are several other serials which better make it seem as though the Dalek race was in mortal peril. Take Evil of the Daleks for example. That one ended with The Doctor stating that he believed this to be the final end of the Daleks. Obviously not true, but many more Daleks died over the course of the lastepisode of that serial than do throughout the entirety of Death to the Daleks. If anything the title is an indication of how the production team of the time regarded the Daleks. There are ultimately two seperate antagonists present throughout this story. The first is the Daleks themselves, as could be expected. The other is one of the great wonders of the universe: The city of Exxilon. The latter threat is significant enough that it forces the Daleks to - albeit temporarily - ally themselves with The Doctor and a human expedition that came to the planet Exxilon in search of a cure for a terrible disease. All visiting parties have been stymied by the city's ability to drain energy from anything electrical. Even the TARDIS is powerless here. The Dalek guns are rendered inoperable, though their other functions (movement, speech, external stimulus) do not seem to be impaired in the slightest. In any case, the Daleks are savvy enough to work around this limitation with makeshift machine guns, which they test on targets shaped like a police box. What's very noticable is that they circumvent their temporary vulnerability by the next scene they are in after making the revelation. Still, when The Doctor realises that his old foes are deprived of their weapons, he does take rather a lot of joy in taunting them for the fact. It goes to show how they affect him, an ever present reminder that some beings are pure evil no matter what happens to them. An uneasy and extremely unlikely alliance is formed, and we can easily see that the Daleks are not beings to be trusted. Their solution to the problem of finding a source for the cure is to enslave the hostile and xenophobic natives into mining it out for them. The humans find this unsettling, but their leader insists that this is the only way to save countless lives and that the ends justify the means. Even when those means include allowing the Exxilons to sacrifice The Doctor and Sarah Jane. The needs of the many, is his rationale. But I would argue that it is not necessary to sacrifice them to save all those lives. He does not explore other options and instead goes along with the Dalek's plan of slave labour. By this point, Sarah Jane-Smith has settled in quite well in her role as companion. This is her first of many visits to an alien world, and while the circumstance is rather naturally terrifying she copes a fair bit better than I think most would in the same situation. She and The Doctor are fast establishing the raport that makes them such a delight to watch, and I happen to know for a fact that it gets even better as time passes. Unfortunately, I also get the impression that Jon Pertwee was growing tired of the role by this point. It's rather obvious that he wants out. He was understandably upset about Roger Delgado's death, and Katy Manning's departure also affected him. It shows a little in his performance, though he still retains an excellent sense of comedic timing. Anyone watching this serial will be struck by a startlingly simple revelation. This story doesn't really need the Daleks at all. In fact, it was originally crafted without them, and their appearance was added in later on to cash in on their popularity, much in the same way that they were in Day of the Daleks. Presumably in the original draft the humans would have been so desperate to find the cure for the plague that their leader would have gone to any lengths to acquire the antidote, and done so without any prompting at all from the Daleks. I think this might have made for a better story. As it is Death to the Daleks feels like it's trying to add far too much while doing so very little with most of it. The serial also has the distinction of having quite possibly the single most hilariously awful cliffhanger in the entire history of the show - at least in my opinion. It's a slightly unfair criticism given that it only came out that way due to time constraints, but that realisation does not prevent the simple fact that it's quite blatantly ridiculous. The intended cliffhanger was in fact a few minutes after what we wound up with, as the camera would have zoomed in on a Dalek gun as the Dalek approached The Doctor. Instead, we get something that... I have to suggest you track down and view yourselves. If you can find part three of this serial, watch just the last two or so minutes, and then join me in well deserved gentle mocking of an out of place dramatic sting. Other than that final cliffhanger I don't particularly recommend this serial. It's not that it's bad, it's that it's not really all that good. The most I can say about it is "it exists". This is a fair bit nicer than some things I could say about the remaining two serials in this season yet to be reviewed.

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Relative Dimensions: Invasion of the Dinosaurs by Iain Mackenzie


Invasion of the Dinosaurs has a bit of a reputation among the Doctor Who fanbase as a serial with particularly poor special effects. This notoriety is well deserved, but there is a fair bit more to this tale than terrible CSO dinos that will surely cause any modern viewer's suspension of disbelief to plummet and their sides to split in uproarious laughter. The plot has a few more nuances beyond those special effects, which are much more worth our consideration.

To begin with, the first episode deliberately conceals the nature of the "invasion" from the viewer by omitting the final three words of the title. Thus the viewers in 1974 would have been just in the dark as The Doctor and Sarah Jane as they depart the TARDIS and find themselves in an utterly empty London. The first episode also has the distinction of being one of the last episodes of Doctor Who to be junked, and the only surviving copy is entirely in black and white. While a colour version of this episode does exist, it is purely a modified version of the black and white version. This is trivia that I would normally keep for the sidebar, but in this instance it does impact upon the review for just that first episode. If any reader decides that they would like to view Invasion of the Dinosaurs then I would give a strong recommendation to watching the firs episode in black and white. This may seem foolish, but keep in mind that this first episode is supposed to show us a London that is devoid of life and movement. It has been evacuated because of a mysterious threat save for looters and other criminal elements that are attempting to make the best of a bad situation. The various shades of grey make this lifelesness all that more believable (which is something the story needs drastic assistance with wherever it can find it), the atmosphere that much more palpable and thus the first episode becomes that much more engrossing to watch.

Then the dinosaurs show up and ruin everything. Dodgy pterodactyl puppets and CSO probelms that are unfixable even by today's technology team up to pulverise the suspension of disbelief acquired by the first episode. But let's not dwell on the dinos. Let's dwell instead on what the story is actually about, because even though they're in the title the dinosaurs have surprisingly little to do with the plot.

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Relative Dimensions

Adventure, Inc - Digging for Danger